Letting Go Is a Skill

It was shortly after I joined Toss, the company I'm currently working at.
In the beginning, I was filled with joy at having joined Toss, the company I had always dreamed of.

But that joy was short-lived, as Toss was brimming with colleagues who exuded immense talent.
And upon witnessing that...
My initial joy transformed into fear.

Was I a fraud?

Would I be able to earn recognition among these colleagues? Was my competence merely an illusion?
I weighed my own abilities against those of my remarkably talented colleagues.

After this prolonged contemplation, I resolved to "quickly develop the outstanding skills possessed by my colleagues."

Was it a result of that determination?
Learning about the team's responsibilities, studying new tools, researching the organizational culture, and contributing to the team—
My mind was consumed solely with work.

However, instead of enhancing my abilities as I had initially hoped, I struggled to even complete my assigned tasks in the early stages of my employment.
And this discrepancy made me anxious and restless.

Feedback from the Lead

During this time, I had a 1:1 meeting with my team lead.
Despite it being my first meeting with the lead, I candidly expressed my anxieties.

I want to be a recognized colleague at Toss, but I feel like I'm lacking.
My body doesn't seem to be keeping up with my aspirations. What should I do?

Instead of providing immediate solutions, the lead shared a story about the United States Naval Academy with me.

The US Naval Academy's Brutal Assignments

The United States Naval Academy is renowned for assigning its students an overwhelming workload.

The academy assigns students an impossible amount of work.
Students who fail to complete the assignments receive low grades.
Furthermore, if they don't meet the minimum grade requirements for promotion, they face expulsion.

Students are incapable of finishing all the assigned tasks.
In this scenario, what should the students do?

Students abandon the goal of completing every task.
They categorize the assignments that are absolutely essential to avoid expulsion.
They establish their own priorities and complete the assignments according to those priorities.

**They choose not to do certain tasks to avoid expulsion.**

The Firefighter Who Doesn't Extinguish Every Fire

Following the Naval Academy anecdote, my company's leader shared their own experience.

When I come to work and open Slack, I see countless fires waiting for me.
Numerous team members are associated with these fires, and they eagerly await my arrival to solve their problems.

However, I can't put out every fire. I don't have enough time or the capacity to do so.

So, I contemplate, "What's the biggest fire threatening the company right now?" and focus solely on that one.
I allow certain fires to burn even brighter.

**The courage to let those flames scorch your skin, to leave those fires unattended.**
I believe that's what competence truly is.

Letting Go Is Competence

I applied both of these stories to my current situation.
And I realized that letting go is also a form of competence.

Initially, I aspired to be like my colleagues, possessing exceptional abilities.
I believed that the quickest path to achieving extraordinary skills was to tackle everything that came my way.
However, like the students at the US Naval Academy, I couldn't handle everything at once.
I remained anxious and restless.

After my conversation with the lead, I examined the multitude of tasks swirling in my mind.
And I pondered the single most crucial action I needed to take to become a truly skilled colleague.

By gradually tackling these challenges and growing, I've managed to continue my journey at Toss.

In Conclusion

Reflecting on my past efforts to achieve my goals, I realized that letting go is also a form of competence.
It takes tremendous courage to ignore the flames of work, even when they scorch your skin.

Do I possess such courage? It seems that my time at Toss has cultivated it within me.