For Me, Who Wants to Give Good Feedback

I want to give good feedback. I want to make my colleagues and team excel through feedback.

I want to give good feedback, but I don't.
I'm afraid that giving feedback will damage my relationships with my colleagues and make things uncomfortable.
These fears have created excuses in my mind, like, 'We'll see each other again anyway, so let's just ignore it and get along.'

My fear of feedback, ironically, has led me to study it,
and to ponder what constitutes good feedback and how to give it effectively.

Today, I'm going to organize and write down what I've learned about feedback and my own thoughts.

Radical Candor

What does good feedback look like?The Manager's Path introduces four types of feedback.
And it argues that Radical Candor is the best type of feedback.

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Oblique Feedback (No Personal Care, No Challenge Directly)

This is a situation where you don't care about the other person and don't want to give feedback.
In this case, it means remaining silent without providing any feedback.

Without any feedback, the organization cannot grow.
Let's pay attention to our colleagues and observe what they do well and what they could improve. And then, let's provide feedback.

Ruinous Empathy (Personal Care, No Challenge Directly)

You care about the other person, but you don't want to have a confrontational conversation with them.
You might avoid giving direct feedback, concerned about potentially hurting their feelings.

If this type of feedback continues, the recipient will not improve on their shortcomings,
and the person giving feedback will eventually reach a breaking point and explode with pent-up frustration.

If you care about the other person and have feedback to give, don't hesitate to do so.
It might be uncomfortable initially, but ultimately, this feedback will help both you and the recipient grow.

Manipulative Aggression (No Personal Care, Challenge Directly)

You don't care much about the other person but give honest feedback.
You express your frustrations and disappointments without considering how the other person will receive the feedback.

Since you haven't considered how the other person might receive your feedback,
even if you provide direct feedback, it may not lead to any change in the recipient's behavior.

Ultimately, the purpose of feedback is to bring about change in the other person, so
this approach to feedback is also problematic.

Before giving feedback, ask yourself, 'How can I make sure my feedback is well-received?'

Radical Candor (Personal Care, Challenge Directly)

You care about the other person and provide honest feedback.
You consider how the other person might best receive the feedback before speaking.

For someone to effectively receive feedback, two things are needed:
They need to feel psychologically safe, like you're not trying to hurt them, and that you want to help them.
And they need you to communicate your feedback clearly without confusion.

Both of these aspects are essential for good feedback.

From Manipulative Aggression to Radical Candor

My feedback style used to be manipulative aggression. I didn't give feedback for the other person's benefit.
I was angry about the person's shortcomings and used feedback as a way to vent my frustration.

XX is wasting time during our team presentation with irrelevant comments.
I'm annoyed that they're wasting my time and the team's time, so I need to give them feedback to prepare for their presentations next time.

This kind of thinking is not good. I've just wrapped my anger in the nice packaging of feedback.
Good feedback requires you to first consider whether the recipient will be able to take it well.

XX is wasting time during our team presentation with irrelevant comments.
If this continues, my trust in XX will decrease.
I need to explain XX's shortcomings and the negative consequences that can result from them, and suggest we work together to improve.

Feedback should start with a mindset of considering the other person.
I wasn't able to consider others when I gave feedback, but this realization has allowed me to improve my feedback style.

Feedforward (aka Strengths-Based Feedback) is More Important than Feedback

I used to think of feedback solely as pointing out someone's shortcomings.
However, feedback that only focuses on correcting mistakes is merely a tool for preventing failure, not for achieving outstanding results.
For example, correcting someone's spelling doesn't transform their writing into beautiful poetry.

Instead of feedback that corrects mistakes, let's try giving feedback that acknowledges someone's strengths.
Acknowledging someone's strengths, or feedforward, helps them recognize their own strengths.

Through feedforward, we help people focus on their strengths rather than their weaknesses.
And we can guide them toward further developing those strengths.

I'm fascinated by the concept of feedforward and its potential.
The idea that it can help people develop their strengths, and that I can use it to help others grow.
This feedback method is exactly what I've been looking for.

To give good feedforward, you need to be interested in others.
Pay attention to what your colleagues do well.

And when you notice someone's excellence, give them feedback right away.
The best feedforward is simply stating what you see, without judgment or evaluation.

The Most Important Thing is to Give Feedback Often

Being interested in others, providing direct feedback, and acknowledging strengths are all important.
But I believe the most important thing is to give feedback frequently.

If you don't give feedback often, both you and the recipient will forget about it.
As a result, the recipient may perceive the feedback as abstract, and abstract feedback doesn't lead to change.
This is because the human brain struggles to focus on abstract words or concepts.

Don't hesitate because you think your feedback isn't enough. If you notice someone's excellence, give them feedback right away.
If your intentions are good and you can communicate them clearly, just go for it.

Schedule Feedback Time

Organizing this blog post has made me reflect on my own behavior.
I'm giving myself feedback for knowing things in theory but not putting them into practice.

You know a lot about feedback; now you just need to start using it with your colleagues.
How about scheduling a monthly feedback session with your team members?
Your feedback can help your team achieve a higher level of performance.

I'm going to schedule feedback sessions with my colleagues as soon as I get to work tomorrow.
I'll also summarize the strengths of the colleagues I'll be giving feedback to, so they can identify and develop their own strengths.

I hope I can stick to this resolution.